Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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