And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
