He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Is it because I queefed?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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