my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He kissed a someone with a penis
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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