Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You know, be my cock's hype man.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize