All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
