just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Ketchup is God's man juice
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Randomize
