I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
