nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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