I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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