id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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