And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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