im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
