it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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