YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
