talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize