I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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