i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
