You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
