6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
