i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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