why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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