There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just had sex on a roof
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
