Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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