Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
