Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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