I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
