I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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