That's intense
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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