see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
