And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
