I think I died a long time ago.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
