Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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