come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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