i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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