She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize