fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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