my soul wont recognize me after tonight
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
