You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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