My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
