She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
