Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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