the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
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