i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
