i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
