You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
