i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
