He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
