so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize