ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
