I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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