You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Randomize
