I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
