And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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