I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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