someone get that fucking seahorse.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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