addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize