I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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