The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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