just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
