I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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