He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
