yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
